Wednesday, September 18, 2013
What you're about to read happens in the only world that survived the End of the Universe, which was rescued by the only existing God, now gone mad.
The elves are hipsters that live locked in their domed metal cities. They have technology, which they know how to use it, but don't know how to fix or create it anymore. Outside of the elven cities, a zombie Apocalypse almost wiped the human race. Dwarves are said to have been expelled from their mountain strongholds by the Green Races (goblins, orcs and such). Haven't seen any halflings yet, and the swamp giants are nothing but straw-gnawing rednecks that barter with our community.
Three of not-so-hipster elves from the Rose Dome, who called themselves adventurers, came to our hamlet looking for some ruins. They said were looking for a musical cube that roamed the swamp and killed some giants with lightning. Who can believe such a nonsense? Anyway, Theck the sludge cludger (I rather call him manure technician) took these elves to my shack, while I was reading the runes to "The Other" Kenneth, an elven barista also from the Rose Dome who wanted to be an adventurer but was stranded in our miserable community.
So there there were Bill and his brother Ted, with "Proper" Kenneth and his hawlcon (some kind of breed between hawk and falcon) to whom I, Moloch the fortune teller, cast my runes and read their future. I just told them a lot of piffle and they gladly gave me a couple of purple opals. Since Theck and I knew about the place, we offered to guide them there. "The Other" Kenneth also jumped in at the chance of being part of a real adventure.
It was night when we arrived at the complex. Three badly damaged metal buildings partially sunk in the swamp. A faded sign in the perimeter fence read "Camp Hee Haw". We checked the largest building, which used to be some kind of cantina, and found a crystal box (a red button appears when opened), duct tape and a roll of silver material (folding tent). We also found a hatch in the floor that was opened after some effort and drained all the water in the room. Something was written in the floor around the hatch and Theck started to clean the area, when we heard a distant cacophony.
Bill cast Sequester on the area, while Ted Summoned some chickens and "Proper" Kenneth hid outside. Soon a huge semi-transparent cube with colored lights and disco music (E.L.O. and other stuff) appeared. Bill cast a Cantrip of some lights in the form of a dancing human which seemed to confuse the cube. Meanwhile Ted sent his chickens to lure the cube into an area thick with swamp gas. The cube took the bait and followed the chickens. Ted fired his laser gun and ignited the gas, which exploded and obliterated the cube.
By now Theck have cleared the mud around the hatch and the sign read: "
Camp Hee Haw - Shelter Toxic Waste". We tied one of the surviving chickens to the end of a rope and lowered into the darkness. Something tugged at the rope and we pulled hard, bringing a half eaten chicken and some kind of horrible mutated elf. Theck hit it with the flat of his shovel and "The Other" Kenneth lunged forward with a short sword he'd borrowed from Bill. The creature, injured, let the chicken go and jumped down the hatch.
Will continue the session recap in another post.
Thanks to +Kasimir Urbanski for inviting me to the game. I enjoyed it a lot!
Friday, September 13, 2013
My RPG wish list has gone down one item, because I've just bought The Dungeon Alphabet (Expanded Third Printing) from Goodman Games. I'm going to have to wait 2 or 3 weeks until it reaches Uruguay, but it's worth the waiting. It was cheaper to have send it directly via USPS, than first to a P.O. box in Miami and then here by a courier.
I guess it was because of the adrenaline still kicking after an awesome DCC session (we're through Jewels of the Carnifex), in which my level 2 wizard, Formerly Ian, spellburned his Strength and Stamina down to 1, and his Agility down to 2. It was a near death situation where he burned 5 points to cast a Sleep, then 10 more points for another Sleep (both with meager results), and finally 1 point to cast Invoke Patron, asking the Metal Gods to smite the enemy leader (some kind of undead demi-god). Like all the corruption he already has was not enough: no hair whatsoever (it grows back naturally and 1 inch with each Sleep spell cast), yellow eyes, shriveled and folded back ears, cloven hooves instead of feet, his Patron God mark in his forehead (Judas Priest cross), and a self-inflicted carving on his right cheek (Derek Riggs logo).
This last spell had him metal spikes grown all over his body and gave each member of the party a +5 bonus on their next action. We didn't die so far, so we might have a chance to make it alive after all.
Let's see if I make another purchase after the next session!
Monday, September 09, 2013
After the Divine Order of the Purple Tentacle defeated a tentacled monstrosity, summoned by the Bloody Successors on their onslaught to the neighborhood, Nimue knew what she had to do. During the battle, she called upon the favor of the Elder One and failed. Now she will have to appease them. So, before leaving, she ordered her urchin followers to cut a couple of tentacles.
Kormaki, cleric of the Metal God of Thunder and fellow member of the Order, had the Captain of the Gate somewhat healed. The poor bastard lost his sanity when the creature attacked, and spend the battle crouching and whimpering on doorsteps of a nearby house. She decided he'd make a good offering and sent an urchin on some errands.
That night, dressed in her best silks, and followed by a couple of her urchins who carried between them a coffer of black wood and inlaid with silver, she went to find the Captain. She found him at "The Rare Cauldron" tavern drinking with other officers of House Wazi. While she crossed the main room, the urchins went upstairs, left the coffer in previously rented room and waited in the corridor.
Everyone stopped drinking, eating, laughing and speaking as she graciously approached the Captain's table. She leaned over to him, whispered something in his ear and turned away. Such was the power of her mellow voice, that he stood and followed her, without finishing his drink, saluting his comrades or donning his rogatywka.
Once upstairs in the gloomy room, and after a couple of honeyed words, the Captain found himself laying naked on the bed, and before he could ask anything, a gentle touch from Nimue left him paralyzed. What promised to be an exciting night, was soon to become a nightmare. With her back to him, she let her silks fall to the floor as she opened the lid of the ebony coffer and begun muttering a litany.
When she straddled naked over him, he saw, to his horror, that her arms have been transformed into tentacles which she sensually wriggled all over him. Sheer waves of pleasure swept over him, as she contorted and repeatedly called, in a strange language, for He who awaits asleep in the depths...
ya Nimue mnahn' Cthulhunyth stell'bsna ee ngfhayak hlirgh orr'e
Candlelight flickered and extinguished as an unfelt gust passed over it. The Captain silently screamed in terror, as he felt his soul sucked into a void of utter darkness by hundreds of hungry tiny tendrils, taking away the deceitful moment of elation. Tears of joy ran down Nimue's cheeks as she realized that her offering has been accepted.