What you're about to read happens in the only world that survived the End of the Universe, which was rescued by the only existing God, now gone mad.
The elves are hipsters that live locked in their domed metal cities. They have technology, which they know how to use it, but don't know how to fix or create it anymore. Outside of the elven cities, a zombie Apocalypse almost wiped the human race. Dwarves are said to have been expelled from their mountain strongholds by the Green Races (goblins, orcs and such). Haven't seen any halflings yet, and the swamp giants are nothing but straw-gnawing rednecks that barter with our community.
Three of not-so-hipster elves from the Rose Dome, who called themselves adventurers, came to our hamlet looking for some ruins. They said were looking for a musical cube that roamed the swamp and killed some giants with lightning. Who can believe such a nonsense? Anyway, Theck the sludge cludger (I rather call him manure technician) took these elves to my shack, while I was reading the runes to "The Other" Kenneth, an elven barista also from the Rose Dome who wanted to be an adventurer but was stranded in our miserable community.
So there there were Bill and his brother Ted, with "Proper" Kenneth and his hawlcon (some kind of breed between hawk and falcon) to whom I, Moloch the fortune teller, cast my runes and read their future. I just told them a lot of piffle and they gladly gave me a couple of purple opals. Since Theck and I knew about the place, we offered to guide them there. "The Other" Kenneth also jumped in at the chance of being part of a real adventure.
It was night when we arrived at the complex. Three badly damaged metal buildings partially sunk in the swamp. A faded sign in the perimeter fence read "Camp Hee Haw". We checked the largest building, which used to be some kind of cantina, and found a crystal box (a red button appears when opened), duct tape and a roll of silver material (folding tent). We also found a hatch in the floor that was opened after some effort and drained all the water in the room. Something was written in the floor around the hatch and Theck started to clean the area, when we heard a distant cacophony.
Bill cast Sequester on the area, while Ted Summoned some chickens and "Proper" Kenneth hid outside. Soon a huge semi-transparent cube with colored lights and disco music (E.L.O. and other stuff) appeared. Bill cast a Cantrip of some lights in the form of a dancing human which seemed to confuse the cube. Meanwhile Ted sent his chickens to lure the cube into an area thick with swamp gas. The cube took the bait and followed the chickens. Ted fired his laser gun and ignited the gas, which exploded and obliterated the cube.
By now Theck have cleared the mud around the hatch and the sign read: "Camp Hee Haw - Shelter Toxic Waste". We tied one of the surviving chickens to the end of a rope and lowered into the darkness. Something tugged at the rope and we pulled hard, bringing a half eaten chicken and some kind of horrible mutated elf. Theck hit it with the flat of his shovel and "The Other" Kenneth lunged forward with a short sword he'd borrowed from Bill. The creature, injured, let the chicken go and jumped down the hatch.
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Will continue the session recap in another post.
